200motels.net
Insanity in Service to Humanity
Comedy
Tragedy
Nonsense
Bullshit
e-mail:
grandwazoo@200motels.net
Considering the fact that
nobody has got a sense of
humor anymore, and
everybody's an unbelievable
prick, why do we continue to
write this garbage?
BECAUSE WE CAN'T HELP
OURSELVES! Check out our
past issues.
Click here for 200motels
SOLID GOLD!
BLAH BLAH BLAH YAK YAK YAK. As Little
Red Ridinghood once appropriately
complained, when the wolf threatened to
eat her, "Doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"
If we got to hear one more freakin cell
phone conversation, we are going to
collectively puke. CELLPHONE RAGE!
Our fearless correspondent, who has spent
a lifetime advising New Yorkers to stick
things up their butts, decides to take his own
advice. NO FLY ZONE, or A Voyage of Butt
Discovery.
Find life boring? Take a little trip down
memory lane with 200motels. I'm So Bored!
Whatever you have to do, try to stay out of
court! Once you fall into the clutches of the
lawyers and the judges, abandon all hope all
who enter here. We recently found ourselves
in court, and the results were not pretty. Here
are our conclusions about the court system.
SUPREME STOOGES
Kiss me, ya big
lug!
"Fast Eddie" Barack Obama
blows into Washington DC and
challenges Fatman Rush
Limbaugh in an epic pool game
with the soul of America as the
bet.
The DC Hustler
The Jews of New Jersey are just as stoopid and
boring as the Italians or any other group that
resides in the Garbage State, and they are
demanding to be represented on national
television like anybody else. Therefore,
200motels presents the real reality (as opposed
to the fake reality) of their reality! We got the
show that’s taking the turnpike by storm,
“Jersey Jewz”, featuring Marty, Ernie
and Howie, three rejects who got kicked out of
yeshiva for stealing girls bras and selling them
as combat yarmulkes with chinstraps. These
guys are such misfits, their mothers took one
look at them and swore off sex.
GOP Women's
Auxiliary
Will work for
dick
I went to work for this idiot because there was a
depression going on, and I needed a job. I gave this
guy a good effort, considering the lousy pay. I even
helped him to achieve a good collective bargaining
contract, which he never would have gotten without
my talent. So how did he pay me back? He forged my
name on legal documents which left me exposed to a
$20,000 part of his tax debt. He harassed me
unmercifully, for fun. Finally, he told me, "I don't like
your face!"
Now, I admit that I am not too beautiful, but look who's
talking! When I heard that, coming from this dork, I
knew I had heard enough. I flipped him the bird and
walked out the door.
When I complained to Page 6 of The New York Post,
Toro used his influence to get that suppressed.
When I published a poem about him on my blog site,
he threatened the web site with a lawsuit, and they
deleted the poem. This guy was getting away with
murder and throwing his weight around like the
freakin' King of Broadway.
But all good things come to an end, and he finally got
caught, which proves that everything I wrote about
him was true. So, now that he is convicted of felony
Grand Larceny, maybe his influence has diminished
enough for me to reprint my poem about him, which
he had suppressed. So I am reprinting my poem, this
time on my own web site, and see if this guy has still
got the clout to shut me down!
                 THE BALLAD OF HELMER TORO